Photo by DESIGNECOLOGIST on Unsplash

In the lead up to Valentine’s Day I found myself looking for romance, not in relationship but in life. When the romance goes and reality hits there has to be more and it has to be worth pursuing.  My prompt for this topic came from my relationship with my newest role. The initial newness and excitement has worn off, there’s the steep learning curve of all that has to be done, the frustrations that comes with it, the jaded energy of others’ negativity. The honeymoon is over. Have I fallen out of love with it already?

In The 7 Laws of Lasting Love the author shares his observations of what works in lasting relationships

They share an ultimate vision about their relationship.

1. They are committed to unconditional love.
2. They fulfill each other’s needs.
3. They trust the good intentions of the other.
4. They master effective communication.
5. They keep curiosity alive.
6. They never get tired of starting over.

These tips have me thinking – can I apply these to any relationship? With some variations the tips make for a solid foundation for love, respect and continued growth in any relationship.

Love starts with the relationship with Self.

• What is your ultimate vision about your relationship with Self?
• Are you committed to loving yourself unconditionally?
• What do you need to do to fulfil your needs? You may not have a significant other to do these for you but you may surprise yourself with what you can do or who you can ask.
• Trust your own good intentions, and those of others. Mostly people want to contribute, to help, to make a positive difference and to give what they can or even more.
• Effective communication starts with your own self talk, listening, learning and adapting along the way and sharing with others to continue mastering effective communication.
• Be curious and discover more about who you are, what lights you up, what you are capable of and what is important to you. Do this from a place of innocence, with new eyes and with an open heart.
• And finally when things don’t go the way you thought they would start over, with forgiveness and a renewed focus towards your vision.

Back to my original prompt (have I fallen out of love with my new role already?) I applied these tips.

• I’ve stepped back into my original vision.
• I am being gentle with myself during this time of learning.
• I can see how we can fulfil each other’s needs, I am giving and I am receiving. It is giving to me in ways I haven’t been able to find on my own and I am giving back with by learning, growing and making a bigger difference.
• I trust the good intentions of my partner, the role, those I am with. I see the good intentions all around me, in the actions of others and in those they are serving.
• My own self talk has softened and I am mastering the many communication styles I need to connect and make a difference with those I interact with.
• By trusting the good intentions I am curious to find out more about what I am doing, why, how I can be, what else I can do. The outcomes change when it comes from a place of curiosity.
• And with each mistake (or my own perceived failings) I am willing to get up and start over. If one way hasn’t worked there are always other things to try.

I am hopeful, I am inspired. This relationship is important to me and it is worth it. Maybe the romance hasn’t died after all.

Is there a part of your life that has lost its romance? Contact me to find out partnering with a life coach can help you find the spark that brings the romance back to life.