This week my leadership skills were tested. Mrs Nice Lady stepped in to help and it was awful. Instead of leading, I was mediating. Instead of being in charge I was trying to keep everybody happy. Instead of breaking new ground I fell into a heap. It just didn’t work – at any level.

People know they can count on me. I am reliable, if I say I’ll do it, it gets done. Sometimes I’m the driver and the rest of the team gets into action. It’s an easy process, I just do it. This seems to be my natural leadership style. I’m part of the team.

Being the leader of the team is a whole other story. Then I find myself asking questions like: What are the rules? How do I make what I want to do fit into the box?  What if I stuff up? What if no-one likes me? I keep forgetting these are disempowering questions, not the type of behavior likely to evoke the dependability or support of anyone, certainly not myself. And if I can’t count on me, how can I expect my team to count on me?

So what is it I need to do to count on me?

• Know what I want – note to self: ask empowering questions.
• Communicate it – clearly & confidently.
• Engage others to join me.
• Take action and provide direction.
• Be open to hearing feedback, both good & bad.
• Encourage the strengths.
• Take risks – let go and trust.
• Be flexible – things don’t always go to plan.
• Be prepared to fail.
• Keep going – this is the only way to get there in the end.

And know that when Mrs. Nice Lady steps in to help I’m not serving anyone, not me, not the team, not the project.

I’m back on track now. Mrs Nice Lady’s services have been acknowledged and she has stepped back. Wounds have been licked and a gentle course correction is in place. Being a leader has to start with leading myself. If I want my team to count on me then I have to start by counting on me.

Have you let yourself down and want to be the person you know you can count on? Contact me to find out how I can help.