This week I’ve been floored by the number of setbacks I’ve experienced. The disappointments, the anger and blame, the unfairness of it all and the frustration! It seems like I’m so close, on the right track, following things through and then – BAM! My own words echo back at me – stay calm, regroup, keep going – and in the heat of the moment I answer myself in ways that are not helpful.

Setbacks are a natural part of going for something and they are most powerful when you’re nearly there. I see them as a last ditch attempt to sabotage and failure and a call for the most resolve to do what it takes to find the path to success.

Here’s how I’ve been dealing with my setbacks:

• I’ve unloaded and debriefed to supportive friends.

– Naming what it is and expressing it takes the emotional energy out of it.

– What comes after that is more logical, reasonable, and strategic.

– By then I’m open to other solutions and out of the box ideas.

• I’ve reminded myself of what it is I want ie time to re-focus

– I will acknowledge that sometimes this shows up as something I don’t want eg I don’t want to alienate everyone in the process.

– This is the re-focus I need and is much easier to achieve once the emotion has passed.

• I’ve spoken up – this is NOT good enough!

– I’ve given myself time & space to step back before I do or say anything.

– I am consciously responding, not reacting.

– I am stating facts without making anything personal.

• I am saying what I expect now.

– Clearly.

– Fix it. Do it. Get it done ASAP.

Following this week’s setbacks I’ve reaffirmed, I still want what I want. “It can’t be done” is not acceptable. It can be done – just not this way. I will continue until I find the way and I will continue until it is done.

If the urge to give up on what you’re going for is calling, don’t let it. Try the steps above or contact me for a more personal approach to countering your setbacks.