I hate the curve balls! You know the ones – just when you think you’re on track, you get hit from left field! It feels like a major shock and you’re thrown off balance.
This week I’ve had the chance to see who I am when this happens. I react by getting angry and righteous, I get depressed, I give up, and I spend a lot of energy defending and justifying my position. In short, I let a whole lot of emotions take over.
There’s a weird sense of satisfaction that comes from the emotional reactions. There’s the proclamation of “How dare you! I’m..(fill in the blank here).. and you WILL hear me”. There’s the drama and the support it appears to engender as I rant about the unjustness of it all. Emotional reaction is a short term fix that provides a sense of power and control.
When I listen to my emotional reactions I hear that I want to be heard and I want to be respected. Surely there are other ways of creating that outcome! The drama is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. It rarely gets me what I’m really seeking. Sometimes things are unfair, so be it. The emotional drama is about hanging on.
A short-term fix is not what I’m after anymore. Long-term change deserves more. It deserves that I sit with the truth, let the emotions run their course, take the lesson, and move on. Long term change is about being empowered and being in control of what I can be in control of – me and my actions.
The curve balls come in the middle of change. They are the last ditch efforts testing just how serious I am about the changes I’m making. They are the last vestiges of the past I’m holding onto even as I’m trying to put them behind me. And they are the final challenges to the resistance of staying in that safe and certain territory of my comfort zone. The curve balls are a wake-up call. The reactions can now pass a little quicker and responding with strategic and empowered actions will take me through the transition and to the other side.
Are you over the emotional dramas? If you’re ready to move on with more empowered actions, coaching with me might be your answer. Contact me to find out how.