Photo by Ferenc Horvath on Unsplash

It’s all very easy for me to say “turn something you have to do into something you want to do” but what if you still don’t want to do it? A good point! Sometimes my enthusiasm overlooks the practicalities so let’s look at some practicalities.

I’ll start with the principles of David Allen’s book Getting Things Done and I’ll go from there.

Before deciding if it’s something that should be done know that there are options:

• Do it – obvious, just do it, take the action, get it done.
• Delegate it – if it has to be done but it doesn’t have to be you that does it then delegate it.
• Defer it/Diarise it – if it does have to be done but doesn’t have to be done right now then schedule it for a time in the future.
• Dump it – if it’s not relevant then dump it.

Practicalities and easy if you’re clear on your outcome. If you’re not clear on your outcomes then all the practicalities in the world won’t help you get things done.

Many of my clients do things they’ve been told they should be doing ie to stay in the game or to get ahead do……… Saying yes is so ingrained and such a habit that why it has to be done this way is not even questioned.

The place to start is by asking some questions:

• “Is this something that’s important to me?” If getting caught up in what others want is why you’re doing it then it’s no wonder you don’t want to do it. Doing it from this space often means doing it with resentment or doing it for external validation, neither of which work. Dump it.
• Note: if your boss/client says so then it may be that keeping your job/client is important to you then Do it with all those things that are important to you – eg pride in your work, building your bank balance, paying the mortgage, peace at home, whatever it is for you.
• “Is this something that is true for me?” Take a moment to sit with how it feels for you. It may work for someone else but you are not someone else, you are You. You may be surprise that the answer is yes, which can be a scary prospect. Nevertheless if it’s true for you then you have options:
• Do it. take the action, get it done.
• If you need to learn how to do it diarise it and take some action on it.
• Consider also the option of delegating it eg it may be true for you to find a new job/create a new product for your business and updating your resume or LinkedIn profile could be something you can delegate to improve your prospects of finding that new job/creating that new product.
• If it’s not true for you then dump it and let it go. Just let it go. You do not need to justify why.
• “If that’s not true for me then is what is true for me?” – this is a Do it task. Be open to all ideas, even if you think they’re too weird. This is the time to go outside of your usual frame of reference and find some new ones. Here are some options for that:
• Brainstorm
• Meditate & visualise (I use a Shamanic process called the Land of Plenty – contact me if you’d like to be guided through this process)
• Make a list
• Create a mind map of alternatives, next steps, pros & cons
• Create a vision board

Expectations and default reactions are challenged when you ask the question “Is this important to Me and what I want to create?” When you know the answer to this question the have to becomes the want to. It becomes the driver to saying yes (or no, if that’s the case) and taking action from a place of authenticity and in integrity with what is important to you.

Is your default reaction doing what is expected of you? Contact me to find out how partnering with a life coach can help you get clear on what is important to You.