Today I’m watching myself comparing me to everyone and everything else, especially regarding my weight loss efforts.

I’ve realized that I have to acknowledge where I am and what I need to do, particularly to acknowledge my lifestyle, my age, my circumstances and what I want. I’ve been disappointed that my concept of Weight Loss Without the Scales may actually need something, like scales, to measure the starting place, the steps and the success along the way.

I’ve been floundering with small results (and delusions, I’m sure), with no real idea of where I started and how far I’ve actually come. I wanted to lead by example and not be defined by the number on the scales yet my sense of control meant that I was measuring everything else – how far I was walking, how long it took me, portion controlled meal sizes –  and not knowing if what I was doing was actually working.

Two weeks ago I looked again at what worked for me. My success came as a Weight Watchers member, and then as a Weight Watchers leader for nearly three years; this is what worked for me. And so I went back. The number on the scales hasn’t defined me so much as given me a place to start, to know where I am right now. I’ve been clear on what I want – to feel great again, to get back to that healthy weight when I felt my best and to get my blog, workshop and coaching self out there – I’ve just not known if I’ve been getting there or even heading in the right direction.

The weigh in that I thought was so demoralizing and unsupportive has become my weekly focus, my reason to keep going. What’s working and what’s not will be obvious. I can make changes right now, with some confidence of what that actually is. Right now Weight Loss Without the Scales seems an idealistic impossibility. Maybe it’s something that will be more workable after the initial success of getting back to my goal weight but right now I’m happy with my decision to go back for that number on the scale.

 

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