Monday this week was another start (yes, there is still lots going on in my life) and as I began to learn new things I went into overwhelm.
Instantly, or so it seemed, my invisible whip came out and started doing its usual job of whipping me for all that I “should have” known and “should have ” been. I’ve talked before about doing what has worked before (and it doesn’t have to be related to weight loss) and so I began.
Calling a friend for support – but the one I rang was busy.
Going for a walk – but my head didn’t quiet.
Preparing a lovely meal to nurture my body and my poor dejected spirit – but I couldn’t even cook with love that night.
All of these things work and to some extent they did work. None of these (or anything else for that matter) can work when I’m in a funk such as the one I was in.
What finally worked was:
Letting go of the expectations, the need to be perfect and having it all together – I am a mere mortal, with all the frailties of being human.
A hug, reminding me I am okay even if I didn’t think so.
Saying no to alcohol and pizza with a friend – so glad I did, I would’ve felt even worse (and had another justification for my invisible whip).
A good night’s sleep – an early night helped by keeping me away from other soul-destroying activities that would only have reminded me how much more I was “not enough.”
The next morning I woke early ie before the alarm. I enjoyed a leisurely breakfast and walked to work enjoying the sunshine and setting my intention for a day of being open to learning. The difference was immediate and obvious. I was relaxed and calm, I asked for what I needed and I celebrated each success throughout the day. How much easier everything was when I let go and acknowledged some of the good things around me.
Sometimes though, when nothing is working the best thing might just be to finish the day and start again tomorrow, refreshed, refocused and open to all that life has to offer.
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