Photo by Julie Johnson on Unsplash

When life gets tough you can buckle under or you can understand what’s going on and take some pressure off. Compassion and unconditional love can make the difference. Unconditional love is most often associated with the love a mother has for her child. What if you could apply the same love to yourself, your relationships, your life, business or career?

Unconditional love is:

• Love without conditions
• Selfless & generous
• Honouring and accepting of the other, even when they’re not at their best
• Is a renewable resource, you don’t run out. In fact, you might find the more you give, the more you have to give.

Contrast this to conditional love:

• The “I will only love you if/when….” kind of love.
• The “I did this for you, so now you need to do that for me…” exchange bargain.
• Is often selfish (and may look like good intention and concern for you)
• It leads to disappointment, resentment and anger when the other does not live up to expectation.
• It is exhausting, tiring and wears you out. No amount of rest, sleep or rejuvenation will work and if it does work, it won’t for long.

Unconditional love requires compassion. At its Latin roots, compassion means “to suffer with.” When you can allow another to be in pain, that is compassion. When you can listen to another’s pain and allow them the safe place to be vulnerable, that is compassion. More than just being in someone else’s shoes compassion comes with the wish to alleviate their pain.

 

Apart from the relationship benefits that come from unconditional love and compassion the health benefits include:

• Improved health and well being
• Strengthens your immune system
• Normalises your blood pressure
• Lowers stress & depressions
• Improves physical recovery from illness
• Extends your life

(*Sources below.)

When you love unconditionally you must also have compassion. In my book, the two go hand in hand.

Unconditional love and compassion require you to be present to another’s suffering without your agenda being in the mix. Yes, the other may be hurting or angry, even angry at you and your agenda can fire up before you even know it. Unconditional love and compassion may not be easy actions in these instances. They may take all your energy and they may also be the best thing you can do – for you, for the other, for the relationship. Let them vent, let them get angry, let them express and be with their suffering. The trick is to not take it personally and to remain unattached. (Please note, I am talking about normal human emotions; violence whether physical, emotional or verbal is not acceptable and if you feel you are in danger, leave the situation.)

Where do you start?

• Decide/choose/commit to putting someone (or something) else first.
• Just start somewhere, there is no right place, there is just a place.
• Choose the cause that’s important to you, you’ll find things begin to happen naturally.
• Start with yourself.
• Start where it feels natural and appropriate for you.

Unconditional love and compassion can bring out your best and the best in others. There will be hiccups and it may be challenging at times. Even when it feels hard, choose to do it anyway.

*https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/restoring-families/power-of-unconditional-love/

*https://leightremaine.com/9-powerful-benefits-of-compassion/

Are your relationships fraught with power struggles? Contact me to find out how partnering with a life coach can help bring out the best in you and in your relationships.