Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash
The smallest things can cause the biggest upsets! This week I had a call from a client asking, “Why do I let things upset me so much?” – a change of plans she wasn’t told about (very inconsiderate on their part), the expectation that she’d handle it all (because she always does) and not much appreciation for pulling it altogether at such short notice. Sometimes we weave our magic and it’s easy, sometimes the pressure feels more than we can bear.
Something I’m appreciating more and more is that every choice I make to be professional in all I do, and to get it done no matter what, helps me to be that. Along the way I learn. I learn about what has to be done. I learn new things, I meet new people or reconnect with others who can answer my questions or point me the direction I need to go. The analogy of being like a duck has been my saviour of late – calm on top but paddling like crazy underneath! And that’s okay because it’s part of the journey!
A friend once told me she doesn’t share her private life at work. Nobody knew she was packing up the family home of 25 yrs and they were moving. There was no reason this needed to impact her work and she did not let it. It got me to thinking and acting differently. My tendency to drama and complaining stopped. My “I’m so tired” groans were no longer necessary as I saw there really was no need for it. I just needed to get on with what needed to be done and it helped to do it from a space of this is what I want to do, rather than this is what I’m supposed to do. It’s more than just my job; it’s how I want to be.
This wasn’t an overnight change. It took courage the first few times I did it, taking a few deep breaths, standing back and seeing things from another perspective. It took practice in speaking up about what needed to be done and by when. It took talking with my support people, assessing the situations myself and being my own cheer squad (after all, only I know how much I was paddling underneath!) before I saw my confidence and resilience growing. There were many times along the way when I thought things were never going to change, that the unfairness of it all was just so unfair, or that I would never be different. Others didn’t change until I did.
Do the little things still upset me? Yes, sometimes they do. But now I know it’s something I can deal with. I have more resources to work through them, with grace (and sadly sometimes without) and compassion and purpose. It’s no longer what I’m supposed to do; it’s what I want to do.
Is sweating the small stuff causing you big pain? Contact me to find out how partnering with a life coach can help you change how you deal with life’s upsets.