Awareness; without it, there can be no change. If you think it’s normal – “that’s just the way it is” – you will keep doing what you’ve always been doing. It’s working, so why change it? But when the seeds of dissatisfaction are planted things will need to change.
Discovering what you do is a great start. It was once pointed out to me that in certain situations I said “okay” as if in agreement but I never followed through. From then I was careful not to say “okay”. Saying I would and then not following through didn’t sit well with me. My outside actions changed but I knew there was more. Even if I didn’t say “okay” out loud I was still saying it in my head.
Uncovering why you do it is a whole journey of its own. It took a good while longer, many more comments, much more self-observation before I could see why I said “okay”. The good girl in me heard that I should do what others (read: more knowledgeable than me) say. The peaceful one in me wanted to avoid the conflict that would come if I disagreed. The petulant child in me was hurt that what I wanted was ignored. The rebellious one in me dug her heels in sometimes without saying, sometimes with lots of drama, but always without doing.
Each of these is a valid reason, a deeper awareness, a once unconscious reason uncovered as to why I was doing what I was doing. Examining why opens up so many alternatives, including choosing all of the above – being the good girl, avoiding conflict, sulking that nobody loves me or even riding my high horse. From there, none of these options serves the greater purpose of growth and connection. From there other actions can begin.
Awareness of what you do is a great starting place. Real shift comes from the deeper awareness of why you do it. With each level of awareness comes another level of empowerment. Ultimately awareness allows the answers to the question “what do I want from here?” to be addressed from a whole other place, the powerful place of conscious choice.
Stuck with understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing? Contact me for clarity and awareness that can shift you to greater peace & results that work for you.
