It used to be that when I made a phone call with a request, no matter how simple or how important I would get told: “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you”. Somehow my voice would drop to such a level that it was barely audible. You can imagine then what it is like when I tried to delegate a task! Couple this with a belief that I always had to be the responsible one and that it had to be done perfectly it was no wonder I found delegating a challenge. I have no doubt the resentment that came from this combination meant I was likely ungrateful for the efforts made and ended up fixing things anyway until they were just right.

These past few months I’ve turned that around, first because I had to and then because I wanted to.

A couple of things happened:

1.       I accepted a paid role that included project managing a team doing work I’m not familiar with. How dare I interrupt their busy work to follow up things they knew more about than I did?!? The details seemed petty and I didn’t want to be the nagging mother asking if homework was done. After numerous promptings, I started to understand about following up progress and making sure things got finished. The details can get lost in the busy-ness, things slip through the cracks and life/the project becomes difficult for everyone. Once I started taking action people started to thank me for reminding them. Delegating a task and seeing it through to its conclusion was much more satisfying than thinking I was being a nuisance and doing it myself, especially when I didn’t have the knowledge or the skills.

2.       I led a team of volunteers in a very successful workshop. It was a big project, too much for one or two people and needed the whole team to make it the success it was. I had an end result in mind and by communicating it often I was able to engage my team in the common goal. I used the natural skills of my team to encourage and support the completion of the many parts. Mostly, people followed through but as the team leader, the buck stopped with me. Being responsible had a whole different meaning and required no resentment. It required action and making sure it got done.

I learned that delegating means:

• Being clear on what I’m asking for
• Asking for it clearly, directly, patiently and unapologetically (and politely, of course)
• And following up until I get it to the standard required.
• If I was to sum it all up I’d say I learned about team work.

With a bigger picture and a common goal rallying up what needs to get done has a meaning greater than my own pettiness. Doing everything myself does not work. I don’t have the skills to do everything. I am but one person. By asking for what I need ie delegating, and working with the team, the load is lightened for all of us, everyone in the team contributes what they’re good at and the results can be above expectation.

Tired of doing it all yourself? Not being heard? Contact me to see how working with a life coach can support you in asking for what you need.