It’s so much easier to see things in hindsight than while it’s happening. The last couple of weeks of unstructured time have had me sit with the not-so-nice-thoughts that have come up. It seems I’m good at creating the space for something new but still not so comfortable at sitting with the thoughts that come up when I’m there.

I was beginning to despair with myself –

• Was I slipping into depression? The familiar signs were there, could I stop the cycle? Of course, I could! I have so many more tools now than I used to have; I need only my own permission to do so. And I have a supportive network of friends who stay connected during my periods of self-pity, holding the space for me without judgment even as they call me out on it.
• Was this a long dark night of the soul and big change is just around the corner? This too is something I’ve both experienced myself and seen with my clients. During this period things feel totally out of control, to the point I question my sanity and “surely I will die if that happens” (whatever that is in this moment). Obviously, I didn’t die but oh, my God, it feels like I will when I’m in it!
• Or is this just me learning it’s okay to take time out, without a timetable, without expectations – if this was the case, I failed miserably. I’m only slightly relieved to learn research results reveal it takes an average of four days, eight hours and 24 minutes to fully unwind when taking a holiday; so maybe I didn’t fail after all.

As my own worst enemy I know it’s not just about shutting off from work, it’s about shutting down the seemingly eternal critical voice within. The New Year is about dreaming big (no wonder the voice within is piping up) and creating it (no matter what that voice within has to say about it).

I am happy to report I have come through again – why did I ever doubt it? I’m gentler with myself once more. I’ve let go of the judgments I had around not being where I thought I should be – I am where I am. I’m connecting with the world again and with friends who remind me, I’m not the only one going this journey. Perhaps I needed this time to let go and create the mental space to go with the physical space I have created. I do believe I am now coming into 2018! Happy new year to me!

Is the New Year your time to dream big and create it? Contact me to find out how working with a life coach can reconnect you with what’s most important to you and take you through the journey to creating life as you want it.