Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
This week I celebrate the twelfth anniversary of leaving a dysfunctional marriage. Far from being one big courageous step, looking back I can see it was actually the culmination of many small steps, taken over many years until that moment it was time.
Whether it is forced on us or self-driven, change is a process of expansion and contraction, alternately stretching us out of our comfort zone and seeking refuge within it. With each step forward there are new skills to learn, the opportunity to practice, and to broaden skills and confidence levels. With those steps backward there is the opportunity for self reflection, regrouping and a renewed approach.
Currently I’m working with a client who has set herself a daily goal of connecting with three people. As an introverted business owner who is happy to work from her home office she knows it’s time to grow her business. If this seems to you to be just a small thing remember, if it’s out of your comfort zone it can be a big thing. We may be grown adults but at these times it is the scared child within that shows up. Judgement is not helpful to change.
I am getting daily progress reports and what she is learning as she builds this confidence muscle. She is learning to make small talk and enjoy the many moments that make life richer for connecting. She is learning to let go of her judgement that the steps of change have to be big ones. She is learning when she needs to return to the safety of her comfort zone and that her reflections are a place of healing and understanding. And with each step comes the confidence to take another one.
As for me, taking that one big courageous step came after I raised two children, bought and made a family home, got a degree, learned to run a construction business and became an inspirational speaker, each stretching and expanding my comfort zone along the way. These were the small steps that needed to be taken before I could take that final step, the one that ultimately helped us all to grow.
Want to start with small steps? Contact me to find out how partnering with a life coach can support your journey to a bigger life.